GEPPETTO

I bought him at the same place as my Pinocchio, who looks more real than his carpenter father, a cross between Grandpa Simpson and Captain Kangaroo.

Does jaundice set in after listening to your son's lies all day? Good question. I've listened to my brothers and mother tell whoppers, and it may have aggravated the eczema and caused heart palpitations, but I never turned yellow. Of course, it may be different when you created the monster.

I can relate to the expression on Geppetto's face, however. I've had it many times, myself.