THE PUPPETWOOD SQUEEZE V

"I should do some yoga, that will help me make a decision," he decided. "But first, I must finish my ice cream cone to make sure that is the right decision." He took a few more licks from the cone. Ice cream, it should be noted, will place one on a very good frame of mind for yoga. Not many instructors will tell you that, but the Head Guy had one of the top yoga instructors in all of Puppetwood.

THE PUPPETWOOD SQUEEZE IV

The only conclusion he could reach, however, was that his ice cream cone tasted delicious. "How come no one ever brings me a project about ice cream?" he wondered. "I would greenlight that in a heartbeat!" But they had not. How else could he make a decision about the project that was not at hand?

THE PUPPETWOOD SQUEEZE III

The Head Guy put the ice cream cone to his mouth, sure that it would help him. He took the first lick and considered the scenarios: he could have his studio spend a fortune, and possibly lose a fortune on a shark movie--and there had been no recent shark movies, now had there?--or he could take the chance that the Polar Bear was telling the truth and that Spielberg was interested, and someone else would make a fortune. He took another lick of the ice cream cone.

THE PUPPETWOOD SQUEEZE II

Now that he'd had both ears chewed off fairly well, the Head Guy sat in a corner of his corner office and ordered an ice cream cone to be sent in. He did not usually indulge in sweets, but sometimes an ice cream cone provided the right nutrients to make important decisions, especially a project proposed by the Polar Bear that involved a shark.

THE PUPPETWOOD SQUEEZE I

"If you're not sure, I can hold off on going to Spielberg for a day or two," said the Polar Bear. "That will only make the price go up. You know, sharks have always done well at the box office." He put on his best sympathetic face. "Look, you're one of my oldest friends in Puppetwood. I wouldn't feel right walking away from you with so much gold in my pocket, and not sharing. Let me chew your ear a little more about the details so you can make the right decision."

And so the Polar Bear talked and talked and chewed and chewed until the Head Guy didn't know if he was coming or going.

THE PITCH TO FOX VIII

The idea that someone else might want the project made him suddenly want it, too. What a quandary!

THE PITCH TO FOX VII

"We're Pepsi people on this lot," he explained. "We have to pass."

"That's a shame," said the Polar Bear. "You know Spielberg wants to work with the Shark again."

THE PITCH TO FOX VI

So the Polar Bear spun the tale of a little puppy who goes in search of his true self, and does battle with a Shark and a hippo, who will require high level set advisors in the form of Clarence and The Hippo.

the Head Guy followed along all until the Polar Bear got to the part about The Diet Coke Tie-in.

THE PITCH TO FOX V

"it is funny, isn't it?" said the Head Guy.

"Hilarious. Maybe even too funny. Might need its own project," said the Polar Bear.

"So what is this new one you've got?" Go ahead- chew my ear for while--everybody else does."

"Ho ho!" cried the Polar Bear, trying to make a sound similar to laughter.

"I like you," said the Head Guy. "What's the story?"

THE PITCH TO FOX IV

"Or maybe you were just skating on thin ice," joked the Head Guy, truly amused by his own wit.

"Golly, that's funny, good one," lied the Polar Bear. "I could use a line like that in the new project."

THE PITCH TO FOX III

"Rupert, great to see you," said the Polar Bear as he entered the office and extended his paw.

"I guess the reports that you were endangered were greatly exaggerated," said The Head Guy. "Someone should sue those scientists."

THE PITCH TO FOX II

Looks are rarely deceiving.The head guy at Fox had to be a tough nut, and cracked a lot of tough nuts himself. This did not mean he was heartless, not at all. He had a soft spot for the ladies himself, and had swapped mates a few times, which cost him more bananas than they have in all of Costa Rica. Therefore, he was always happy to listen to pitches that might bring in more bananas, which also meant producers could chew his ear--sometimes literally.

THE PITCH TO FOX I

I've got it, thought the Polar Bear. The entire package played before his eyes. Now he just had to roll it to the head guy and sell it like ice to the Eskimos (one of his favorite expressions). The head guy at Fox was known to be a very tough nut to crack.

HE LOVIES THE LADIES

I'm fairy certain I can tempt him, I've seen how he plays.

THE FEROCIOUS PUPPY

That's right, the puppy will shut down production if there's a giraffe in the cast.

Hmmm, maybe I can offer him his own movie--with lots of women of easy virtue....

IT SHOULD HAVE A GIRAFFE

Everyone loves giraffes, he thought. The story should start with a giraffe. Or is there a problem with giraffes I should know?

NOT THE WOLF AT THE DOOR, BUT--

The Polar Bear at the 20h Century Fox door, on his way to set up a meeting, thought carefully about the story he was going to pitch.

NO, EXCUSE ME!

"I have been standing by the door here for a very long time, and I resolve this year to get back into this story in a big way!" said The Wolf.

EXCUSE US YET AGAIN!!!

"Sure, that's just ducky when you can hang out in your own shell, but puppets like us have to deal with realities of the wolf at the door!"

WHAT'S THE HURRY?

"I resolve to take things a little more slowly this year, and give myself time to think about truly important issues, such as those raised by the Cheetah," said Giovanni Lento." I mean, if he can take the time for a number of things that weren't important yesterday, then so can we all."

EXCUSE US!!!

We're trying to set up a very important Hollywood meeting for The Shark--but everyone's just going on about their New Year's Resolutions and all kinds of philosophical nonsense! At this rate, we won't be ready until February!

EXCUSE ME?

"Perhaps the likes of you are on stage for a short time, but I resolve never to leave!" declared Filberto.

WHAT CONFUSES SPOT

"I don't get why all the puppets are suing each other, and puppets who used to be friends are no longer talking to each other. It's all a very sad state for puppets, and I just don't get it. I mean, we're only on the stage for a very short time."

MORE CONFUSION

"I'm not sure I even want to know what a Yurt is," said Spot. "I'm confused enough with the yurt and the paperwork, thank you very much. May I tell you what confuses me?" And without further prompting, he did:

MORE MONKEY SPEAK

"We would do the paperwork for you, to make sure your insurance covers the medical parts of your stay," said Nurse Martha, helpfully. "I resolve to take care of all the important paperwork for you!"

DR. MONKEY SPEAKS

"I resolve to help you become less confused," offered Dr. Monkey. "I'm thinking a retreat to the Instant Spine-O-Matic Easy Reduction Yurt would help you."

SPOT'S NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTION

Spot wishes to become less endangered and less confused.

CLARENCE THE SHARK'S RESOLUTION

"Whereas I generally enjoy chomping on inappropriate items, I resolve to restrain myself--to the best of my abilities, of course. There is always a loophole for tasty items, is there not?"

REX'S RESOLUTION

"I'm with the Pirate! Let's put stuff into our mouths that we should not! Yum!"

THE PIRATE'S RESOLUTION

"Aye, my Matey Mutt, I'm with ye on the commandeering! I resolve to teach ye how to go wenchin' and plunderin' and have a grand old time puttin' stuff into yer mouth ye should not!"

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Rango, the ferocious puppy who has even Clarence the Shark scared of him, once more commandeers the Daily Puppet to wish you a Happy New Year and allow the various puppets to state their New Year's resolutions: