THE STORY LINE 27

"So before the others could stop him, he pushed me out of the basket, so I never got to the hiding spot where the children would find me. I was lost in the field with the daffodils. It's very sad when daffodils can't make you happy."

THE STORY LINE 26

" 'Let me explain to you what Easter is all about' said the brown bunny. "It's about suffering and bloodthirsty Romans and heavy burdens and nasty Philistines.'

"You are one bitter little brown bunny," I said, not to be nasty, but just stating facts.

'That's it! You're out of here!' he said.

THE STORY LINE 25

"I realized I had mad a big mistake. The brown bunny was, well, hopping mad. Myself, I never mind when someone laughs at me--I'm glad they're having a nice time. This is not always the case, I learned. The brown bunny started making threats: 'You're going to die! I'm kicking you out of this basket!'

"I explained I was just trying to get in the Easter spirit."

THE STORY LINE 24

"But the Big Bunny was quite kind and said to jump in. He said there were going to be a lot of treats and surprises. I have no resistance to treats--not always so good with surprises--but the idea of treats won out so I hopped in and went off with them."

THE STORY LINE 23

"The little brown bunny hissed like a snake: 'I don't want anything cuter than me in the basket.' One of the little white lambs laughed at him, saying, 'We'll all have to jump out then!' But what was worse, all the lambs followed along, laughing at the brown bunny. His nose twitched so hard it went nearly out of its nose mooring."

THE STORY LINE 22

"I found the basket they were going to hide, filled with bunnies and lambs, and asked the Big Bunny if I could jump in and hide with them."

THE STORY LINE 21

"We were at the house, as usual," Kirby explained, when the big people told the little people that on Easter Day, they would get to find things that were hidden."

"Did they go and hide you?" asked Spike.

"Um-not exactly," said Kirby. "I might have hidden myself by mistake."

"How's that?"

THE STORY LINE 20

"I'm so sorry," said Kirby. "I don't want to be like everyone else and hurt your feelings. You are very kind to help get me back to my family. Maybe they'll want to pet you as a reward. Or at least give you treats."

Let's worry about that later," said Spike. "Now tell me where you last saw you family?"

THE STORY LINE 19

"I think you've stuck with me enough," said Kirby.

"At least I could point you in the right direction," said Spike. "Get it? Point you? Oh please, don't go away mad like everyone else. I can't help it if I'm not cute and cuddly like you."

THE STORY LINE 18

"Aiiiiiii-I really must be going. I have to find my family," said Kirby, thinking quickly .

"Please let me help you" said Spike. "You were nice enough to try to pet me, so the least I could do is stick with you."

THE STORY LINE 17

"Aiiiiiii," cried Kirby at the sharp needle that stuck his paw.

"You what?" asked Spike. "You liked it or not?"

THE STORY LINE 16

'So, against his better judgment, Kirby reached out to pet the porcupine.

THE STORY LINE 15

"You hate me already, don't you?" said Spike.

"No, that's not true," said Kirby. "I can tell you have any fine qualities. Many fine, sharp, pointy quill-ities. I mean, qualities."

"You're not going to pet me, are you?"

THE STORY LINE 14

Kirby's eyes were now quite sad at the thought of not being able to pet his new friend. On the one hand, he didn't want to hurt his paw. On the other hand, he didn't want to hurt his new pal.

THE STORY LINE 13

"Have you been working on the sad puppy dog eyes part of this?" asked Kirby, his paw hovering near Spike's muzzle. "It always lets them know you're not going to bite."

"I never bite," said Spike. "I would never hurt anyone. Now please, try petting me."

THE STORY LINE 12

"Oh, don't think I haven't tried sticking my muzzle out to get some petting. Problem is, when I stick my muzzle out, my muzzle gets stuck," said Spike. "Then the people stuck say all kinds of things that--tell you the truth--don't sound that friendly."

"Here, let me try petting you," said Kirby, reaching out with his paw slowly. He tried to think of a delaying tactic. He was, after all, a very smart dog.

THE STORY LINE 11

"No, of course there's nothing wrong with wanting to be petted," said Kirby. "In fact, that's why I want to get back to my family, because they do pet me. Sometimes they don't realize that they want to pet me, but I just stick my little muzzle out and give them my sad puppy dog look and, well, they just can't help themselves."

THE STORY LINE 10

'Really, I was hoping for one of my family to come and find me," said Kirby.

'Your family,' Spike sighed. "I bet they pet you, don't they?'

'Why yes, they do.'

"I just want to be petted, too," said Spike. 'Is that so wrong?'

THE STORY LINE 9

"It was a Porcupine making his way through the daffodils. 'You wanted me?' said the Porcupine.

'I made a mistake, I think,' said Kirby.

'Oh please, don't say that, I want to be friends. My name is Spike,' said the Porcupine.

THE STORY LINE 8

"But Kirby the Puppy's elation soon turned to consternation...

THE STORY LINE 7

"Then the puppy saw a friendly figure making his way through the flowers.

'Over here, please! Can you please come this way?'

THE STORY LINE 6

"I'm not sure how I got lost--my owners always said I was a genius, that I could go to Yale or Harvard, maybe even Cal Tech, but let me tell you this--just because you're smart, it doesn't mean you can't get lost.

"What I need is to find someone who will help me find my way back to them. Now they are supposed to be very smart people, my owners, but I'll tell you another thing about smart--the only kind of smart I care about is the smart that will get me back home."

THE STORY LINE 5

"The puppy is in a field, surrounded by daffodils, and at first we think he's a happy puppy, because he's surrounded by Spring flowers, but soon we sense his inner sadness.

"The puppy says, 'My name is Kirby, and I think I my be lost. I was hoping you would help me."

THE STORY LINE 4

Suddenly the Yoga Instructor got an idea. "I was going easy on you, because I was afraid once you heard the story, you would plotz, but I am going to tell you this story about the puppy--The Easter Puppy!"

THE STORY LINE 3

"Well, sure-um--it starts with this little puppy..."

"Great! Then what? Keep going!"

"He's a really cute little puppy..."

"Yes, yes, but what does he do?"

THE STORY LINE 2

"Excuse me, did you hear the phone ring?" said the Yoga Instructor.

"I did not," said the Head Guy, "but if there is a call, it can wait until after I've heard your idea for the puppy movie, which I'm sure will be an enormous hit because it is so high concept, and all we need now is the story line."

THE STORY LINE

"Oh, you want a plot, do you?" said the Yoga Instructor. "I suppose next thing you'll want a writer and a script."

"It's not a horrible idea," insisted the Head Guy. "Sometimes they even give out awards for those."

"I'm not in it for the awards, I'm an artist," said the Yoga Instructor, stalling.

"Of course," soothed the head Guy, who had encountered quite a few artists and ones who called themselves such in his time. "Now what exactly is the story?"

YOGA SESSION XXXI

"There would have to be a personal trainer, a personal chef, a groomer who can trim nails without causing any commotion and a full-time driver."

"Could the peanut butter treats be available on set visits?"

"I don't see why not."

"And can there be ice cream, too?"

"Of course there can be ice cream. Vanilla. Vanilla with nuts. Or banana."

"Then we may be able to make a puppy movie," said the Head Guy. "What's the story line?"

YOGA SESSION XXX

"There are soft rays of sunshine through white billowy clouds, and everywhere you look, there are peanut butter treats."

"I like peanut butter," said the Head Guy, smiling too, at the thought of endless nut delights.

"Sharks don't like peanut butter," instructed the Yoga Instructor.

"So how much would that cost?"

"I'm not done yet," said the Yoga Instructor.

YOGA SESSION XXIX

"I did not know that yoga instructors were allowed to bite," said the Head Guy. "Or make threats."

"Let's just get back to this meadow in the mountains," said the Yoga Instructor, smiling inscrutably. "There is endless grass, lush and enticing, and soft on the fur."

"How much would that cost?" asked the Head Guy.

"Nothing--nothing in comparison to Shark dollars."

"Is this above the line or below the line?" asked the Head Guy.

"Hush and let me tell you more," said the Yoga Instructor.

YOGA SESSION XXVIIII

"There are no Sharks," repeated the Head Guy.

"Picture an adorable puppy running through the meadow," said the Yoga Instructor.

"Wait a minute, are you sure there are no Sharks?" asked the Head Guy. "Sharks make a lot of money."

"There are no Sharks," repeated the Yoga Instructor. "Pay attention or I'll bite you."

YOGA SESSION XXVIII

"Close your eyes and concentrate," said the Yoga Instructor.

"They're closed," said the Head Guy.

"Picture a meadow surrounded by mountains, where there are no Sharks."

YOGA SESSION XXVII

"I like that part," said the head guy. "I like that part a lot."

"And the budget is much better. You don't need the special effects. Just the normal puppy perks."

"What's the budget? And what are the puppy perks?" asked the head guy.

"With the right perks, you can cut the budget in half," said the Yoga Instructor.

"And those are....?"

"Let's talk about it over our yoga session."

YOGA SESSION XXVI

"Dogs. Puppy movies especially just clean up."

YOGA SESSION XXV

A dark look crossed the Yoga Instructor's face, which was losing any semblance of Zen tranquility. "I hate the Shark," he said. "Screw it."

"But shark movies make a lot of money, People love shark movies."

"I'll tell you what people love--even more than shark movies," said the Yoga Instructor.

"What's that?" asked the Head Guy.

YOGA SESSION XXIV

"I am impressed," said the Yoga Instructor. "Perhaps you are ready for more advanced work than I thought."

"May I tell you what I would like? I would like to use your supreme yoga skills to help me decide whether or not to greenlight the Polar Bear's movie."

"The Polar Bear's movie? The one with the Shark?"

"Yes, what do you think, O wise Instructor?"

YOGA SESSION XXIII

"We did a screen test with our Native and a Jack Rabbit, and somehow--I'm not pointing any paws at anyone, this is a crazy mixup--our rabbit got preggers, so we had to come up with some kind of safe sex version with hairy whirlagigs on long tails."

"Why'd everyone become blue, is what I want to know," said the Yoga Instructor.

"Funny you should ask, that was the Native's idea--saw his reflection in the blue lamp and thought it looked cool, so we went with that. Now that's puppetastic flexibility!" said the Head Guy. "Of course a thousand academicians will claim it was some well-thought-out metaphoric trope, which is tripe."

YOGA SESSION XXII

"The natives who are in touch with nature were originally Native Americans, that go shortened to Na'vi. And that Jake Sully was originally a Jack Rabbit."

"Really? Why did the script change?"

YOGA SESSION XXI

A smile crossed the Head Guy's face. "I didn't get to be the Head Guy because I'm green," he said. "No, I've been around the blockbuster a few times and I can tell you a few things about puppetastic!"

"I'm all ears," said the yoga instructor.

"For starters, that Avatar movie? That was really my idea."

"Is that right?"

"that's right. I started it a little differently, though..."

YOGA SESSION XX

"Oh sure. Yeah. I can do that," said the Head Guy. "I mean, I was born kind of puppetastic."

"You don't even know what it means, do you?" said the yoga instructor.

YOGA SESSION XIX

"I'm flexible! I'm flexible! How many more ways do I have to show you I'm flexible?"

"Just one more way," said the yoga instructor. "However, it is the most difficult way of all. You must show me you have puppetastic flexibility."

YOGA SESSION XVIII

"Don't tell me about down, I practically invented down," said the yoga instructor, as he deftly pulled the Head Guy to the floor. "I think we need to work on your flexibility."

YOGA SESSION XVII

The yoga instructor took matters into his own hands and stopped the Head Guy from going.

"Let go of me! Or I'm going to bring you down!"

YOGA SESSION XVI

"Where are you going?" asked the yoga instructor, "I told you I'd be right back."

"I just needed to go to the Alley for a smoke," lied the Head Guy, and not for the first time.

"I've never seen you smoke," said the yoga instructor.

"I only do it at The Grill."

YOGA SESSION XV

"Check, please!" said the Head Guy, rushing out the side door by himself. "I'm not hanging out here any more!"

YOGA SESSION XIV

"Very good, sir," said the waiter, "Happy to oblige."

YOGA SESSION XIII

There was a slight problem. "It is beyond my grasp," he complained.

The waiter replied, "Your yoga instructor said it should be."

"My yoga instructor?! He has no business interfering with my ice cream! I'll have that cold fiend by the balls!"

YOGA SESSION XII

The position made him more contemplative, made him begin to see things in better focus.

The waiter came by. "The usual?" he asked.

"You know what I like," said the Head Guy.

"Right away, sir."

YOGA SESSION XI

The Head Guy usually had a good time at The Grill, but found himself in an unaccustomed position, by himself.

YOGA SESSION X

"I'll give you a lift to The Grill," said the instructor.

"Um--hang on a moment--"

"Yes, that's exactly what I want you to do--hang on a moment. I see another of my clients at the bar. Stay there and I'll be right back. Won't be two shakes of a puppy's tail."