CAN YOU HOLD THE SHOT, PLEASE?

Giovanni Lento reached the end of the bed and can just slide downhill to try to get to the group photo--or the sound of the noise in the kitchen. He is now beginning to think he may have to hurry just a little.

FIRST ANNIVERSARY

June 18th--the day Slow John started The Daily Puppet for me, and coincidentally the wedding anniversary of my own parent puppets. I wish I could think of something witty or wise to say for the occasion. Clearly I cannot, so I'll simply thank all my puppets (some, like Giovanni Lento, were slow getting to the group photo) and my few readers who follow their adventures.

WHAT A TEASE!

"Really, it wouldn't be right for you to see this," said Filberto, flashing the letter tantalizingly close, too fast to focus.
"And as for your impertinent question," he continued, "I think it best not to let you know right now, but the dictates of drama are such that I must take this to my den postwith so that it can be preserved in order to enlighten all regarding a certain puppet."

Speaking of other puppets, the sounds of buzzing, flapping, guzzling, gurgling, snapping and tumbling were heard from the shed to the kitchen, growing louder.

"Ta-ta!" laughed Filberto, scurrying to his den, wherever that was.

WHAT DOES IT SAY?

Filberto--realizing the damaging content of the letter in the trash--quickly regained his composure and pretended to return to eating his grapes.

"Please ignore my outburst," he said. "I was just embarrassed by seeing an old love letter. I should probably take it somewhere else."

Was there an element of truth or was Filberto making that up entirely?

FILBERTO FINDS SOMETHING OF IMPORT

"This delicious trash, for example, contains a high-nutrient, balanced and fiber-rich cornucopia of disposable delights. Moreover," he continued, "it is my way of understanding characters, my own Stanislavski method. When I go through trash, I unpeel layers of defenses, just as if they are orange peels or potato peels, which so often they are in actuality."
Filberto lent a keen eye to the discarded papers in his trash pile. "What's this?" he said, awed by his own discoveries, as usual, "An actual script? What's this doing here?"

He began to read the letter that Little Red Riding Hood had buried deep in the trash-or at least had meant to.

"Good heavens!" he exclaimed, not acting, this time.

THE UNEXAMINED TRASH IS NOT WORTH GNAWING

"Art is a process of discovery, of discovering the true soul, so it is both trash and treasure," mused, between gulps of fruit. "I take such joy in trash because it is the best way to know who you are." Filberto wished to illustrate the point so he turned to the artistic pile of trash he'd created.

SUCH AN EASY QUESTION

"They are indeed one and the same," sad Filberto, swallowing the last grape of that bunch, when he heard my question. "It's time we ceased to view the word trash as pejorative." He let the stems drop to the floor as if painting a canvas.

"There is a true art to garbage. Whereas you know I dislike complimenting myself too much, I do consider myself something of a master at it."

He grabbed another bunch of grapes with which to ply his craft.

MEANTIME, BACK AT THE TRASH....

Filberto has been having a jolly time, finding all kinds of treats in the kitchen, not just the trash, although he did a good job of re-introducing the trash that Little Red Riding Hood had so tidily discarded.

To borrow an old phrase, may we not ask if one's puppet's trash could become another puppet's treasure?

SLOW AND STEADY---

---really does not get you anywhere very quickly.
Giovanni Lento courses towards the far side of the bed.

STARTING TO GET CROWDED

The mouse is forced to retreat with just a cracker in his paws. He decided to find Filberto and The Pirate.

SOUP'S ON!

The Bee calls to his fellow bugs in a clarion bugle call. Or bug-le call.

BUG UPDATE

Uh-oh. The first bee has found the honey in the cupboard.

GIOVANNI LENTO 'S PROGRESS

Oh dear. Giovanni Lento has taken a wrong turn on his way to the cupboard to stop the mischief going on there--or at least help to straighten up the peas--when he made a left turn at the bedroom. He admired the neatness of the covers (I did mention that he hates a mess, didn't I?). "What's the hurry?" he thought to himself as he continued across the bed. "I'll get there when I get there."

GETTING IN DEEP WATERS

"That's better," said Clarence the Shark. "I'm going to have a swim over to the house and see how creative I can get with your case."

"I go with-a you!" said Pinocchio.

"You go see my physician!" Clarence ordered.

THE CORRECT RESPONSE?

"I say-a 'Ow--my-a aching-a back!' " said Pinocchio.

AN UGLY TURN AT THE LAWYER'S OFFICE

I want you to look at things from my perspective. If you sue me," said Clarence Thurgood Cochran III, with a diabolical flash of sharp teeth, "I will have to charge you a lot of money for suing Little Red Riding Hood. I can also offer my services to the noted fibber Little Head Lying Good, whom you could also sue, because he sent you to the house where you were injured, but now that you have told me you feel fine, I can tell him you have no case. What do you say to that?"

LILY MAY, THE JUNE BUG

What do you know? Lily May, the June bug, wants in, too. It's going to be quite the infestation!

ONE MORE BUG

The smell of something sweet within lures yet another happy little bug toward the shed.

THE PIRATE RESTS FROM WORK

The Pirate had done his job well, finding the rum and Brandy inside the house and sampling both to see that they were indeed fit for a pirate. These labors caused him no small amount of fatigue.

MORE BUGS IN THE SYSTEM

It's Butterfly puppets, too, of different colors, following the Bees' lead.

A BUG IN THE SYSTEM

Apparently, it's not just Bees.

3 BEE--

More bees are making a beeline for Little Red Riding Hood's House, while talks of suing ensue.

DIGESTIVE DIALOGUE

"I tell-a you the-a truth," said Pinocchio, because he was talking to his own lawyer now. "I feel-a just-a fine now."

"You ever repeat that and I'll eat you, wood and all," said "Clarence.

"Even my-a hat?" said Pinocchio.

"I'll eat your hat, or my name isn't Clarence Thurgood Cochran the Third!"

"But it is -a that, and you no eat-a my hat," said Pinocchio, or I sue-a you!"

TO BEE

Speaking of goodies, the Bee inside Little Red Riding Hood's shed sent out word to other bees on the B Network that this was the place to Bee.

HE'S A SHARP ONE

"Wonderful!" Clarence declared. "That means she won't be able to deliver more baskets of goodies, and we can organize a class action suit against her for negligence." He could not help smiling. "Now tell me about your terrible injuries."

START OF CONSULTATION WITH SHARK

"Now--in order to have successful lawsuits, you have to learn to look at a situation from all angles," Clarence advised, sagely. "What may appear to be normal behavior, even preferred behavior, can be twisted beyond recognition into something nasty and perverse--and moreover, an actionable offense."

"You mean-a I can sue-a Little Red Riding Hood?" Pinocchio asked, hopefully.

"What did she do, exactly?" asked Clarence.

"Well, for-a starters--she left her-a house this-a morning with a basket of the-a goodies for the deserving and we locked her-a out."

PROFESSIONAL COURTESY

Who do the Sue-ers (similar to sewers) call when it's time for them to sue? Pinocchio fought through his imagined pain, not to say suffering, to find the best shark he could for a consultation: Clarence Thurgood Cochran III. Over a few beers, Clarence mapped out a strategy for Pinocchio's bevy of suits against everyone.

"How-a much you going to-a charge me?" asked Pinocchio.

"I'll eat the costs," said Clarence Thurgood Cochran III.

Pinocchio decided not to ask exactly who he meant by that.

NEVER TOO BZZZZZZZY

There's something sweet about Red Riding Hood's house, and even the busiest bee would want to stop smelling the roses to have a look inside.

ONE OR TWO MORE THOUGHTS

"If they come across any fresh lettuce, I'm quite partial to that, too, and can be forgiving if they fork over the lettuce," thought Giovanni M. Lento. As he finally made his way out of the shed and into the house proper, another thought crossed his mind: "I did not close the shed door behind me. I hope no one else tries to get in who should not?"

STILL THINKING

"First I'll question them carefully to see if they have encountered any peas in the cupboard that I could have, and if they offer a satisfactory answer, then I shall quickly re-assess my plan, right after I form my plan."

ON SECOND SLOW THOUGHT....

"On the other hand," he mused, "what if they have any peas in the pantry? I really like peas, and if they are raiding the house, maybe I can see if they have any delicious peas--I prefer the green to the yellow--before I teach them a lesson in neatness."

CATCHING UP

"I am going to find out who made such a mess of this place, or my name is not "Giovanni M. Lento!" he said to himself (and his name is indeed that, his middle initial M stands for Molto). "If I just keep at it, I can catch up to them."

He took a long pause.

"Luckily, I have some time to figure out what I'll do when I do catch up to them"

GIOVANNI LENTO

"So what's the hurry?" Giovanni thought, as he inched his way through the shed. "No one was in a rush to clean up this mess inside."

Giovanni Lento liked to keep his own house neat, as he carried it with him, and disapproved of those who did not.

SLOWER THAN ANTICIPATED

Please bear in mind that a tortoise rushing in may take a little longer than most puppets, thanks.

WIDE OPEN

Of course--the shed door was still wide open, for any critter to come in and have a look. Giovanni Lento, the Tortoise, espied an opening and made a break for it.

THE MOUSE HAS BIG EARS

His eyesight is not that good, but his hearing is quite acute. He looked up from his nibbling when he heard a slow rustling from a distance. Where was it coming from? In their haste to come explore the house inside had they perhaps forgotten something?

SHEER DEDICATION

"By the time I-a finish suing for all-a the things people don't-a do, they are a ready to settle because it takes too much-a time to prove they no do what say they no-a do. I am just-a the genius, don't-a you think?"

"Now I'm afraid you will sue me for not thinking."

"No, that the-a one thing I will not sue-a you for not-a doing," said Pinocchio. "I like to do the thinking. Speaking of-a that, I think I can sue the Little Red Riding Hood for not having a soft place to fall-a down outside-a her house when taking away her-a goodies."

"Are you able to carry away her goodies still?" asked Carol.

"I will if it kills me!" said Pinocchio. "And if is does, I sue for that-a too!"

A LESSON IN OMISSIONS

Let me explain the-a law to you," said Pinocchio. "If we sued only for what-a people-a do bad, then we limit the earning potential. If we can sue for all the-a stuff they don't-a do, then the sky, it is the-a limit!"

"Don't you have to prove that they didn't do what you say they didn't do?" asked Carol Cowstanzo, confusing herself.

TO SUE FOR WHAT YOU DID NOT DO

"So you're not suing me, you're just suing her?"

"No, I sue-a you, too--I sue-a you if you no go along with my story, and I sue-a you for not calling the-ambulance for-a me!"

"Can you sue someone for something they didn't do?" Carol Cowstanzo wondered aloud.

"You bet!" crowed Pinocchio. "It happens every-a day!"

"But I don't want to get sued," said Carol. "I figured you were OK. Now I'm scared."

LEGAL REASONING

"So you got-a to say that it was that-a mean and crazy-a Little Red Riding-a Hood who had too many goodies in her house. For her own-a good, we had to stop-a her from-a hording."

"So you were injured on a rescue mission?" puzzled Carol Cowstanzo.

"That's it's on the-a nose"" said Pinocchio. "Hey! Your-a nose looks-a pretty big, too!"

"And you're suing her for having too many goodies?"

"It's-a more for-a the loss of my-a wages because I had-a to take away her-a goodies."

WORST THINGS FIRST

"First-a thing, you gotta back-a me up--but not like you did when you knock-a me over--that I got hurt from carrying Little Red-a Riding Hood's goodies from her-a house. We got the number-a one lawsuit right there on-a her!"

OUTSIDE MISCHIEF

"I'm-a smiling because you my-a new best-a friend," said Pinocchio, starting to get up.

"You're all right?" asked Carol Cowstanzo.

"Never worse!" lied Pinocchio.

TREASURE TROVE

...and Filberto went nuts--or bananas--with the trash.

PIRATE IN THE PANTRY

...The Pirate paused to sip a sample of fine Brandy (and think of his lady love). He paused for a few more sips, but in a thoughtful way...

BACK INSIDE THE HOUSE...

The mouse became distracted on his way to finding flour....

THE JOYS OF A WOODEN HEAD

Pinocchio envisioned with especial glee how he would claim to be affected by the trauma of her bovine push Over and over, he would testify, he imagined himself falling, snapping a wooden leg, or worse, and she could not even call the ambulance--just because she was afraid he would sue her! Of course he would, but now, how much more! Perhaps he could add loss of income? How many lawsuits could he prepare?

NOT MUCH MOVEMENT OUTSIDE

"I am just not going to help you up, Mister Pinocchio, if you are going to sue me!" said Carol Cowstanzo. "Why are you smiling?"

Pinocchio would not say, but he was calculating how much extra he could get for her refusal to help him after she knocked him over.

THE RACCOON TAKES CHARGE

"You take the cupboard and see if you can find any cereal or flour, The Pirate can check the pantry for rum and such, and I shall proceed directly to the trash bin."

The Pirate did not like having Filberto make the decisions, but he could not argue with such an excellent plan.

"All agreed?" asked Filberto. They did not answer, they just quickly set about their tasks.

HATCHING A PLAN

Filberto and The Pirate scrambled through the pipes and up over The Mouse to get inside the house. "I was right, was I not?" asked The Mouse, his voice muffled in Filberto's paws.

"Nothing but chaos to create, as far as the eye can see," Filberto chortled.

"Aye, as far as the Eye can see," agreed The Pirate. "What's Yer plan?"

KIND OF LIKE THE BMT

"I like to take the subway entering a house," said The Mouse. "I find it gets me door to floor in just a jif," he said.
"Follow me!"