EN ATTENDANT LA VACHE

Pinocchio struggled under the weight of some large boxes of Little Red Riding Hood's belongings, waiting for Carol Cowstanzo to come out and lock the door.

OF COURSE

"Some actor seems to have passed out from too much rum. He's holding a bottle."

"Hmmm," said The Bear. "Does he have an eye patch and a hook?

"Yes, and a puffy white shirt."

"That would be The Pirate," said The Bear.

Speaking of pirates, let's go back to Little Red Riding Hood's House and see what's going on there.....

THE BEAR'S MATE SEES---

"The Monkey and his Mate played a husband and wife who were very happy together on his 80th birthday. The wife had been a nursing student at Stanford. Most of the party behaved well and was happy."

"Most of the party?"

"He's telling me to look over a little to my right now."

"What do you see there?" asked The Bear.

It's--oh, dear."

A VISION IN BLUE WITH MONKEY

"She has a nice face. It looks like she's a friend to puppets. The Monkey is smiling. He says she put him into a show."

"What kind of show?"

"Some kind of celebration. Wait! He's showing me!"

A VISION

She was so very happy with her new eyes. "I can see everything! I can see things far away!"

"What do you see?" asked The Bear.

"I see a lady--a nice lady--holding The Monkey on her lap."

"What does she look like?"

BEAR REPAIR

While Pinocchio and Carol Cowstanzo are up to no good, I thought it would be nice to show some positive puppet news, for a change. I performed successful eye surgery on The Bear's new mate, who had suffered at the hands of some nasty spoiled children.

NO ONE WILL BE ABLE TO GET IN---

"Maybe that's-a true for-a you," said Pinocchio, but people don't believe-a me, when I lie. I got-a the problem with the nose."

"Don't argue with me," said Carol Cowstanzo. Let's just go see what's worth taking, and then I'll change the locks so no one at all can get in."

THAT MAKES NO SENSE

"How can you say she-a trash the house when you gonna lock-a her out?' asked Pinocchio. "That will make-a no sense to people."

Carol Cowstanzo stopped eating for a moment. "I am so disappointed in you," she said. "You know that people will believe just about any lie you tell."

A BITE OF THE BUSH

Dis ish bedishush," said Carol Cowstanzo, who had bitten off more than she could chew, and was having trouble speaking clearly. Her thinking remained the same.

"You're going to make-a the hole in the bush," said Pinocchio. "They gonna have trouble when they go to sell-a the place."

Carol Cowstanzo swallowed. "We'll just say that the little girl who lived here trashed the place and we had to fix it up." She eyed the bush again. "Maybe just another bite."

MAYBE JUST A NIBBLE FIRST

"Do you smell-a the sardines?" asked Pinocchio, who could not see the shadow of The Black Cat, but his nose certainly detected something fishy.

"No, I don't," said Carol Cowstanzo, "But that bush certainly looks yummy. "I think I might just treat myself to a taste of it first."

---OR IS HE?

While Carol went to open the door and change the locks on Little Red Riding Hood's House, the shadow of The Black Cat appeared atop the roof.

WHILE THE CAT'S AWAY----

Once they were certain Little Red Riding Hood had left the house with her basket of goodies, they decided it was time to make it for good--or not so good.

"You got-a the master key?" asked Pinocchio.

"I've got it!" chortled Carol Cowstanzo.

CALLING ON THE CAT

It must be The Black Cat, protecting me from some evil doings, she thought. Take care of my house while I must deliver goodies, she whispered to the warm air.

UNUSUAL SIGNS

As she started out, she thought she smelled something faintly fishy, like an emptied can of sardines that had been rinsed but you can never quite get out the aroma. She noticed, too, how unusually warm it was that morning, by the house.

OUT FOR DELIVERY

Unaware of the invasions about to incur, Little Red Riding Hood set out in the morning with an especially fine basket of goodies for The Token Blogger, who had come to the aid of an elderly man having fits, with little thanks for her efforts. Little Red Riding Hood felt good about treating The Token Blogger, whom she admired.

MEANWHILE, ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE COTTAGE....

"Look!" said The Raccoon, "She left the shed door open! We can just go in that way!"

MOOOOOVING IN

"Don't start milking the situation just yet," said Carol Cowstanzo. "We still have a big job to do. And sometimes people get real mad when you lock them out of their own homes."

"I think I see-a her now," said Pinocchio. "Let's-a go hide until she leaves with the baskets of goodies."

"Horrible girl, said Carol," giving away all those goodies when her poor Grandmother is near death." she mooed softly. "Let's take everything we can!"

THE COW CAN'T HELP IT

"So I'm pretty sure I won't get caught if others are charging along the path before me. "

"That's-a genius!" cried Pinocchio.

"It is?" asked Carol. "I just do what comes naturally."

"I should have been a cow, too! All along, I been-a telling the lies and trying to take the money all by-a myself. I need to be part of a bigger herd of the liars so no one notice me!"

He looked at her admiringly. "You gonna be my-a cash cow!"

OVERHEARD MENTALITY

"Won't-a Grandmama and Little Head The Lying Good notice that things are gone?" asked Pinocchio.

"If they do, I'll just say what I always say--that they accidentally broke and I had to throw them out--in my own car!" she laughed.

"I bet you make-a the sour cream," said Pinocchio, thinking to himself (I wonder what I could get away with taking?).

"I'm not sour, just practical," said Carol. "Call it being part of the herd, but when I see the head guys helping themselves, I just have to follow along."

TROUBLE A-HOOF

"Buon Giorno," lied Pinocchio. "You look-a very lovely today," he told Carol Cowstanzo. "And that's-a no bull!"

"I'm still digesting my breakfast," said Carol, slowly. "I'm usually at my best when I'm eating."

"So the plan is, you-a gotta the master key to get in when she goes and then we change-a the locks?"

"Well," said Carol, still slowly, we can look around inside and see if there's anything we want to take for ourselves, first."

THE REAL ESTATE LADY

Carol Cowstanzo, (aka The Stupid Cow), once was the cud-chewing checker at a local low rent market, then turned her hoof to real estate back when you only had to show up to make some hay. She had sent Pinocchio the Unsuspecting Buyer and now was here to continue breaking china.

OTHER MISCHIEF AFOOT

Pinocchio eyed Red Riding Hood's House from a distance. He could smell the aroma of freshly baked goodies that would be going into baskets soon and delivered to good people. It made him impatient for the morning's ill deeds to be done. His wooden heart pounded in his chest.

"Where is that stupid cow?" he wondered He was thinking of Little Red Riding Hood, but that was not the Stupid Cow.

ON THE ROAD TO ZZZZZZZZZ

"Maybe we should just catch 40 winks before going," said The Pirate, whose legs were a bit wobbly.

"As long as we're they're before the remove the trash, that's all I ask," said the Raccoon, who wasn't at all certain he could get very far just yet.

So they dozed, while other mischief was afoot....

SET IN CUTTY SARK

"Could I get in there? What a question!" laughed The Raccoon. "There's already an old tunnel dug by Nuzzo The Possum that'll take us straight to the pantry."

"Then we'll go there tonight!" said The Pirate. "I understand there's always baskets of goodies around."

"You can have those," said The Raccoon. "I can't wait to get my paws on her garbage!"

THE PIRATE'S PLOT

"Now here's the vessel I had a hankerin' to commandeer," said the Pirate. "Is there any way you could make a burrow into that charming little cottage owned by Little Red Riding Hood? "

ROUGH SEAS AHEAD

"I just commandeered the bottle," said the Raccoon. "Is there something else we can commandeer tonight?"

"Not tonight," said The Pirate. "Let's have a drink or two and talk about it."

"Do you want to bring The Penguin?" asked The Raccoon.

"The Penguin is a fine fellow, however he has sworn off trouble for a while."

"Trouble sounds like fun to me," said The Raccoon.

EMBOLDENED BY A BUDDY

"I like you," said The Pirate. "I like the cut of your jib. I'd be proud to take you out for a little commandeering with me."

PUBLIC SPIRITS

The Raccoon decided that Good Fortune was good only when shared, so he brought the bottle over to The Pirate, who was sprawled out for the night, and probably should have shared some of his own.

A MAJOR FIND

The Raccoon looked through our recycling bin and hit the jackpot. To share or not to share with the Pirate?

MORE SPIRITS

The Raccoon went where the Pirate told him, but thought he would sample some of the treasure first.

MORE KINDRED SPIRITS

Uh-oh. The Pirate and the new Raccoon were introduced.

"Arrgh, there's much marauding we can do, matey," said The Pirate. "I'll tell you where they keep the buried treasure trash."