THE BAT

He tried to get help from his old friend, The Bat, but The Bat whacked him and said he wouldn't suck his blood, if he had any. Then The Bat added that Vaden had no spine, either.

A DIFFERENCE OF OPINION

The Monkeys managed to get Vaden in a head lock known as the Death Grip. "But I tried to be your friend," said Vaden.
"What are you, nuts?" said the Monkeys. " You wanted us to do stupid lawsuits"
"They weren't stupid--it was just business," said Vaden.
"Suing people is not just business," said The Monkeys. "Intelligent creatures don't do that. Bye-bye! Don't come back!"

LUCKILY HE HAS NO SCALP

Vaden tried to approach The Brave, who threatened him with a tomahawk.
"Pale Face no place here! Next time use Tomahawk Missile on you!"

START OF A HALLOWEEN STORY

Once upon a time there was a very pale ghoul named Darth Vaden, who had been a litigator during his life. As a ghoul, he came to realize was very sorry for all he had done while he was among the living, so he set about trying to make things right. There was a problem, however: every time he tried to approach someone he had wronged, he was--perhaps rebuffed is too weak a word--so let us have a look:

HIGH AND DRY AND GOODBYE

The Pirate sits forlornly. Apparently he did not stay in that harbor town. He misses his Brandy, wonders if she will ever be his again, and finds that his friend the Penguin has a new romance of his own. The Princess, of course, has married Kasper. Perhaps The Pirate will change his ways in time, but first, there is much drinking and carousing do be done over Halloween week.

ALL'S ALMOST WELL THAT ENDS WELL

With the King's blessing, Kasper wed The Princess, and all in the Kingdom rejoiced, with perhaps one exception......

THE REAL SEA MONSTER

"There was a Sea Monster,  just as you claimed," Kasper told The Princess, "He was not quite as large as you suggested, but he scared you into losing your crown while swimming." 

"That story was not true!" The Princess exclaimed.

"Ah, but it was true, in a way," said Kasper. "The Monster was not a bad monster. He was the monster of your own emotions, holding the secrets of your heart. Sometimes those can be the most frightening monsters of all."

"So now he hardly seems like a monster at all," said The Princess. "In fact, I'd say he was quite friendly."

"I am glad to hear this news," said Kasper.

"I shall need your to help keep him a friendly little monster," said The Princess.

"I am happy to oblige," said Kasper, "with the permission of your father, The King."

THE CROWN IS RETURNED!

The Princess is filled with gratitude, and embarrassed for her childish behavior. "Can you forgive me for my tall tales?" she asked Kasper.

"I think we can," he replied.

JUST THE BANANAS, THANKS

Kasper spotted the Monkeys and thanked them. "Don't you want to bring the crown back?"

"We are already happily mated," said The Monkeys. One of you should return it to her."

"I want squaw princess, not pale princess," said The Brave.

"Then it's up to you," said The Monkeys.

"I'll do it," said Kasper, but I must tell the Princess of your heroism.

"That's nice," said The Monkeys, "But just some lovely bananas would be as good as far as we're concerned."

HOW DID CROWN FALL TO GROUND?

"I think I have an idea How," said Kasper.

THE BRAVE SEES IT FIRST

"How?" wondered The Brave. "How did crown get here?"

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

Should we let them bring it back to the Princess?

TIME TO DROP A HINT?

The Monkeys, fresh from a nice banana rest, watch Kasper and The Brave discuss where to look next for the Princess's crown.

LOVE WADDLES IN

While The Pirate was off finding Brandy, The Penguin started unburdening his heart to Waddles, who was a surprisingly good listener.

"I can't help thinking my real problems began when I started hanging out with The Pirate," he said. "But he does make life so exciting."

"Is that the only way you can lead an exciting life?" asked Waddles.

"I don't know," said the Penguin, "I guess it's possible. And I was all right with my dull life before we were friends."

"I think you're plenty exciting," said Waddles.

"Really? You mean it?" said The Penguin.

"And brave, too."

"Gosh," said The Penguin. "Let's talk about this more. You want to go get a pizza with anchovies?"

NOW THAT'S GOOD EATS!

Yum!

A TENDER REUNION

The Monkey's Mate had gone in search of something to eat before making their way to to The Princess with the crown.

Sometimes, it's nice to just sit with your mate and share a quiet banana or two.

A LESSON FROM MONKEYS

The Monkey scampered away from Pinocchio and Gepetto, continuing the mission to return The Princess's crown. He felt a little victorious, thinking maybe he had at least slowed, if not stopped, Pinocchio's lunatic desire to lie and sue.

He was gratified to catch a little of the conversation between them as he left.

Father, I may have been mistaken in my behavior, said Pinocchio.

"I am relieved you have begun to grow and mature," said Gepetto.

The Monkey smiled as he swung out of earshot.

"What lesson have you learned?" Gepetto asked his son. "What lesson have you learned about how to be a better puppet?"

Pinocchio sighed deeply from his wooden heart. Never argue with a clever monkey.

MONKEY SEE, MONKEY SUE

the Monkey scampered through the trees and found Pinocchio and his father Gepetto in the woods.

I am hungry, said Pinocchio. Who can I sue?

"You cannot sue for being hungry," said Gepetto. "Have some pears."

I don't like pears, said Pinocchio.

"Then you'll go hungry," said Gepetto. "You must learn to appreciate what you have."

The Monkey swooped down beside them.

Look, it's a Monkey! Can I eat him? asked Pinocchio.

"You cannot eat him, no," said his father.

I'm going to sue him, then.

The Monkey was not concerned. "Then I shall sue you right back!" he proclaimed. "I'll sue you to stop suing everybody for your own stupidity."

This is crazy! said Pinocchio. Why would anyone sue me?

"Because you are a liar," said The Monkey.

I am not a liar! lied Pinocchio. I am a trained diplomat and have to phrase things very carefully so that everyone is offended. Besides, I am so clever that no one realizes I am lying.

The Monkey, being quite clever himself, asked "But didn't you just contradict yourself? You said you didn't lie and now you say everyone is too stupid to realize you are lying. Clearly, both statements cannot be correct."

Papa! cried Pinocchio, upset at being caught in another lie. Punish the mean Monkey for telling the truth! Tell everyone he stole from me!

"Stole what from you?" Gepetto asked.

Um---umm--Pinocchio tried to think of what he could possibly claim that could not be proven. My WRITING! he said.

"What writing?" asked the Monkey? Your legal papers?

Yes, I wrote you legal papers to sue the beer bottle, and you stole them from me.

"But if you wrote them for me, aren't they mine?"

I'm hungry, answered Pinocchio. Maybe a pear or two wouldn't be too bad.

WHERE MONKEY GO?

The Brave was perplexed. He had put his ear to the ground many times, but could not hear the Monkey.

"Do you think he's still in the woods?" asked Kasper.

The Monkey chuckled from above.

THE CHEF GETS HIS OWN SHOW!

It will be called "I Like Soup" (the French version will be called J'Aime Beaucoup la Soupe" and will be hosted by the French Chef Salt and Pepper).

Here, we see The Chef preparing his fresh ingredients: turnip, cauliflower, gourds, tomatoes, peppers, and newly caught crab monster.

NO SOUP FOR THEM

"There is something more important we have to do," said Kasper. "We have to retrieve the Princess's crown."

The French Chef Salt, who had been in Rex's stomach, was surprised. "But why you go after this when it has already been found?"

"It was found?" Kasper gasped.

"How?" said the Brave.

So the French Chef Salt explained about being in the vast stomach of the insatiable Rex and breaking out with the emergency hammer. "Monkey most likely has it in his little paws and is bringing it back to Princess now."

"Then we should go find him and help him," said Kasper.

"He deserves big banana," said he French Chef Salt. "Au revoir!"

"Bon appetit!" said Kasper. "Enjoy your soup."

A TASTEFUL ENCOUNTER

Kasper and The Brave were continuing on their quest to retrieve the Princess's crown when they encountered the French Chef Salt, and his colleague, The French Chef Pepper, heading in the other direction.

"Where are you going?" asked Kasper.

"You have not heard, monsieur?" replied the Pepper Chef, "There is a fabulous soup being made tonight!"

"How!" said The Brave.

"How?" said The French Pepper. "You take first the onions and garlic and sauté in butter--"

"What kind of soup?" asked Kasper.

"Why, it is creme de crabe monstre, extraordinaire!" proclaimed the French Salt Chef. "Your very own Chef is preparing it, and the word is that your Bobby Flay is preparing a Crab Moster Throwdown!"

"I was in a throwdown myself with the Crab Monster," said Kasper.

"Then you must come have this soup, too!" the French Chefs insisted. "What can be more important than good food?"

THE PIRATE ARRIVES

"Arrrrgh, the harbor town's just as I remember her," The Pirate growled happily to himself. "Should I tell Brandy my beads are a gift from far away? Should I tell her I am ready to make this harbor my home?"

He set off to find her. Whilst he searches for his true love, let us see how the other puppets are doing....

ZZZZZZZZ...

The mistress of The Daily Puppet, Speed Wendy, and The Monkey were both too tired to put up a post. Our story will continue tomorrow.

BACK IN A HARBOR TOWN.....

Apparently, Brandy does not spend her nights when the sun goes down walking through a silent town, loving a man who's not around.

What Sailor is this, who wooed her away? What will happen when The Pirate arrives?

TRANSPORTED

Through the Magician's art, The Pirate was transported toward his true love.

Through The Pirate's trickery, his true love was not exactly who The Magician thought it would be!

THE SAILOR BUTTS IN

"Maybe The Pirate would like to throw himself at my feet?" the Sailor suggested.

The others seemed not as enthusiastic.

A MISGUIDED PROMISE

After speaking with The Great Blue Wizard, The Magician returned to The Pirate and Penguin.

"I am willing to try the plan," he said.

The Pirate threw himself at The Magician's feet. "Thank you for sending me to the fair lady I love. I promise I will make amends for my bad behavior."

"And find the crown?"

"I shall do my utmost to go straight to The Crown."

A MAGICIANS' CONFERENCE

This was too important a decision to be made alone, so The Magician brought in The Great Blue Wizard for a consultation.

"Should I trust the Pirate?" asked The Magician.

"You can trust the Pirate to behave like a pirate,"said The Great Blue Wizard. "Perhaps he is in love, but he still is a pirate."

"You think he really may be in love?"

"Pirates can love something other than rum and doubloons."

"All right," said The Magician. "I'm going to transport him. But if you're wrong, I'm going to have my lawyer call you."

HMMMMMMMMMM.......

Should I believe the Pirate? The Magician wondered. He seems so sincere. More than I've ever seen. Maybe he's really changed.

ACCUSATIONS AND A REQUEST

The Sailor tied The Pirate's hands (or hand and hook) behind his back (which he enjoyed just a litle too much, if you ask me) and tried to tie The Penguin's flippers, too, but they were a little short and slippery. The Penguin was too scared to do much, anyway.

"You have wronged the most noble lady in the kingdom," said The Magician. "You tarried with her and took her crown, and your accomplice, this Penguin, knows where it is."

"Arrr," growled The Pirate. "I know I have wronged a deserving woman, but I swear by every star in the sky I intend to make it up to her."

"And I swear by every fish in the sea that I do not know where the crown is," said The Penguin.

The Pirate continued: "Transport me to the fair lady I love though your magic, let me see her to tell her how I feel, and I will help you find that crown."